Quotables

Scanning numerous blogs a day, I often see a post or two that addresses a subject in the exact manner I wish I had thought of first -- so instead of trying to outdo it, I'll just post it as written from the original source.




Pulled from NY Magazine's Daily Intelligencer.

In the upcoming "Green Issue" of Vanity Fair, Madonna tells us that she is so over New York, contrary to recent reports.

“It’s not the exciting place it used to be. It still has great energy; I still put my finger in the socket. But it doesn’t feel alive, cracking with that synergy between the art world and music world and fashion world that was happening in the 80s. A lot of people died.”

Oh, yes, because living in a giant, ultraluxe townhouse in Marylebone, London is so CBGB circa 1983, Madge.

Four x Four

Eric over at Marketing.FM tagged me to highlight myself in the 4x4 meme that has been making its way around the blogosphere these days. Although my blog profile is anonymous -- I'm ok giving up a little bit of my identity. It's about time you get to know me a little bit better.

J-O-B-S I've had:
1. Deli Girl: I worked behind the counter at a small deli called Parkside in my hometown. This was my introduction to the restaurant world -- and left an ever-lasting terrific impression on me.
2. Waitress: Throughout college, was a waitress at a small luncheonette in Easton, Pennsylvania. This was, by far, the best job I've ever had. I woke up at 6am on Saturdays and Sundays for four years, and served eggs and coffee to magnificent locals. I never missed a day of work and I was never completely sober -- yet always truly happy behind the counter.
3. Waitress: Are you noticing a trend? After graduating from college, I moved to New York City and waitressed at The Knickerbocker Bar and Grill on 9th and University. Great job. Everyone thought I was a struggling actress and I neglected to tell them differently. Highlight was serving Chris Noth on Halloween -- he liked my cheerleading costume.
4. Partnership for a Drug-Free America: Yes, you read it right -- I worked at PDFA for years. First as a freelance writer and then moved into their digital department to help develop their suite of websites. It was here that I met my mentor -- and when I realized that I wanted to pursue a career in web.

Favorite Food: (Since I'm a foodie, I'm going to tell you my four favorite dishes from my four favorite NYC restaurants.)
1. Hamburger and fries. Too many places to count -- I'll go with JG Melon, Resto and Shake Shack. Turns out, I'm a cheap date.
2. Ricotta gnudi from The Spotted Pig
3. Pumpkin Cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine
4. Pork Buns from Momofuku Noodle Bar

Places I've Been:
1. Prague -- Everyone should go here once. And when you do, stay for a while.
2. Beijing -- Hot, smoggy and amazing.
3. Israel -- Hands down, the best trip I've ever taken in my life. One love to TL458.
4. San Juan -- Not too exotic, but perfect for a few days on the beach with my oldest friends.

TV Shows I DVR: (Turns out, I love TV and more specifically, my DVR. This is an exciting question for me.)
1. The Wire -- I'm one of the white people that just started watching this year after reading about it Newsweek.
2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- Genius comedy. It can do no wrong in my eyes.
3. Lost -- Because it's brilliant.
4. Top Chef -- Because a girl can dream, can't she?

Do the Test

I've been struggling for days to find something to write about -- and thanks to the help of a friend, the block is over.

Watch this video and laugh. And then sit back and take a minute to think about the amazing viral quality something like this has. Whoever created this campaign knew they had something different, interesting and worthy enough to provide an "embed this link" right under the video. They could have been even more straight forward and simple said, "and while you're at it, make this video famous and make us a ton of money. Thanks."

And to that, I would have replied, "No problem."

Bravo, Brits.

Samantha Bee Enlightens the Public

Yesterday I discussed the fact that I couldn't understand why Silda Spitzer would stand by shamed husband, Eliot, after he cheated on her for eight years (racking in $80,000 in bills) on a high-end hooker service. And last night, Samantha Bee, correspondent on the The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, did a PERFECT job of satirizing a situation that sadly, many politician's wives have found themselves in.

Bee decided to "come clean on her own transgressions" and brought fellow Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones to accompany her while she exposed her own sins.

This clip is hilarious -- yet so on point. And also raises another question -- has a man ever had to stand behind a woman in government who was confessing humiliating adulterous acts to the public? Just sayin'...

I Wanna Hold Your Hand = I Wanna Punch You in the Face?

The happy couple.

I love to hold hands -- I'll do it any opportunity I can. But when I'm upset with a particular person, touching them is probably the last thing I want to do, which is why I can't understand why Silda Wall Spitzer is not only standing by our "noble" governor during this humiliating hooker ordeal -- but is continuing to hold his hand along the way.

This morning when I saw a photo of Silda and Eliot, walking hand-in-hand off the press-conference stage, I was so angry. In fact, I was even more fired up about that photo than I was about the fact that Mr. Spitzer cheated at all. He was caught red-handed, he admitted he's done wrong -- so why is Silda up there, publicly supporting him? I know there's a certain code that goes along with being a politician's wife -- wear terrible skirt suits, head some type of charity that supports children in need and hold hands with your spouse through thick and thin. But this just seems different.

A few years ago we watched Diana McGreevey, the ex-wife of former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey who resigned in 2004 over a gay affair with a man whom he hired, go through a similar public ordeal. She stood by James at press conferences, held his hands as they walked to and from the cameras -- and then divorced him, wrote a tell-all memoir and became bitter and angry. So, what was the point of the hand-holding show? She obviously didn't support James' decisions and she didn't support the continuation of their relationship. Why did she want the public to think so? James was going down anyway - why jump on a sinking ship?

Eliot has admitted to the public that he had sex with a hooker. Therefore, does the public really expect Silda to be cool with this? If she plans on staying with her husband (they way Hilary stayed with Bill) I can understand her standing in the background of the press conferences to show that type of support and solidarity, but does she need to hold his hand when they walk off stage? Even if she doesn't want a divorce, there's no doubt in my mind that she's furious. Watching this happen made the whole thing so fake for me -- the apology and his role as a leader of our state. In my mind, the second they were away from the cameras, that hand-hold turned into a hand-slap to the face. To me, that gesture just seems more appropriate coming from Silda.

That's What She Said

I'm on a McSweeney's kick -- I can't shake it.

Some of the best stuff on that site are their lists. Besides "A Picnic Ending in an Awkward Sexual Encounter, Told Chronologically Through Board-Game Titles" -- the following caught my eye because of my love and admiration for The Office, and more specifically Michael Scott. Please enjoy the list below pulled from McSweeney's and written by David Henne titled:

"Unfortunate 'That's What She Said' Precursors in Casual Sports":

Tennis
"There's absolutely no way that was in."

Foosball
"Spinning the little man is both illegal and disgusting."

Beach Volleyball
"Shag your own balls."

Snooker
"It's official. You are horrible at snooker."

Golf
"If you miss this putt, I'm leaving you."

Everybody Fakes It

“There was a way to do this book honestly and have it be just as compelling.”
- Sarah McGrath, naive Riverhead editor

Why do publishers keep getting fooled by fake writers? I know people can lie, cheat and scam their way to success in this world, but man -- how many times does it have to happen before people start catching onto the trend?

The most recent "fake writer" to be outed is Margaret Seltzer, author of "Love and Consequences" which she wrote as 'Margaret B. Jones' and was published by Riverhead. In the fictional book that Seltzer claimed was a memoir, she described her life as a half-white, half-Native American drug runner for a gang in South Central Los Angeles. After seeing a profile about it in the New York Times last week, Seltzer's sister called the publisher and sold her out as being a fake. Turns out that Margaret lived a charmed life and never had to sell crack to stay alive. Damn.

What I don't understand is with such heavy names in the press over the past few years, notorious for duping their publishers (see James Fray, Kaavya Viswanathan -- even Augusten Burroughs' accounts of his childhood were called into question), why aren't publishing houses putting more resources into -- what's it called again? -- oh right. FACT CHECKING.

There are so many kids who graduate college with super useful English degrees (sarcasm) that need work and some basic job experience. If a huge publishing house posted a $30K job on their website for a fact checker position -- more resumes than they would know what to do with will appear in their inbox. Then, if something slips by their new hire, the publishing company will have a great out -- "Our 22-year old fact checker neglected to do their job -- they have since been fired." Immediate damage control right there -- just blame it on the kids! I know the publishers have the money to do this -- so I don't understand why they don't invest in small resources, rather than having to pull one million copies of a hardcover book off the shelves?

At this point, if a white-bred, Connecticut girl walks into a publisher's office claiming that she used to run drugs for the Bloods in South Central, LA -- wouldn't you be the teensiest bit skeptical? I mean, wouldn't you at least try to find some proof that something as ridiculous as that actually happened? Maybe the publishers think that they can actually get away with it. Maybe they relish in the negative press (all press is good press?) But if anything it seems to bring down their credibility and piss off their readers. Once I found out that James Frey was a dirty liar, I was so mad that I spent any time at all thinking about and reading his book. Because of this, because of Kaavya's plagiarism and now Margaret's latest indiscretion, I'm hesitant to pick up a memoir -- hell, I'm hesitant to pick up any non-fiction book! I've been burned in the past, and it's going to be hard to trust again soon.

Onion Movie: Fandango a Seat On Your Couch

"Prepare for a news shit storm." - Sean Mills

Just about a year ago The Onion decided to join the world of Web 2.0 (a few years late) and jump on the news-video bandwagon. Smart move, as the content they produced on their site exceeded expectations, provided great distraction at work and has even gone viral more than once. The quality of their productions only gets better by the day and consistently makes me laugh.

Now, I'm thrilled to announce that we may have the pleasure of watching a full-length Onion movie in the comfort of our own homes (as it is set to go straight to DVD)! Not sure if this movie will basically be a "greatest hits" collection of the best of the web video (fun!) -- or an actual movie with a plot (boring). In any case, I'm particularly interested in Steven Seagal's "Cock Puncher" -- but that's just me.

An Oldie, But a Goodie

"I try to make the magazine as untimely and irrelevant as possible." - Dave Eggers


I recently picked up Dave Eggers' "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" -- a hilarious and painful memoir that not only reinforced how much I like Eggers' writing, but also reminded me of one of my favorite online literary journals, McSweeney's, of which Eggers' is the editor and a contributor.

A while back, a friend shared a hilarious McSweeney's post, written by Ryan Dilbert titled, "An Extremely Patient Producer Works With an Aspiring Pornography Scriptwriter." It's entirely too funny -- the way it's set up is that you only see the letters written back from the Producer to the Scriptwriter. We never see the actual script -- which is what makes this so comical and brilliant (because you can only imagine what this mystery person could be writing about.)

I highly suggest you take a few minutes to laugh today -- let Ryan Dilbert help you out.